I had been single single (unmarried & not in a relationship) and not dating at all for 6 YEARS! I stated multiple times that my next guy would certainly NOT be a black man. Not that I was no longer open to dating black men... I just wasn't open to dating the type of black men I entered relationships with previously.
I've attracted foreign guys but I wasn't into dating outside of my race at the time. I also didn't want to date men around my age. I'm 34 and a lot of dudes in my age group are immature as hell! And I ain't got time for that ish. Now, I'm not saying every black guy I attracted were trashy because I've dated good men before but the ratio was off and most of the good ones were too content with were they were to the point they had no vision.
I'm a visionary... I can't be in a relationship with a man that doesn't have vision. I also got tired of these men who want AND expect a woman like me to blindly submit to them or "go with the flow" when they have absolutely no direction for their lives. I'm not a go with the flow type of woman when it comes to relationships. I need to know what I'm submitting to and where you are leading me, PERIOD! When you are CLEAR on what "we're" doing, it's so much easier to follow your lead.
When I met my guy last year, he put everything on the table... The things that were needed to be known and I did the same. No games played. He remained consistent with who he said he was when I met him. Not just to me but even in how he treats other people. We've had our disagreements and we've been upset with each other and NOT ONCE have we gotten disrespectful to each other even in those moments.
I've grown so much with him (those that know me know I'm big on growth), he loves me different than anyone I've ever been with, and loving him feels safe and refreshing... loving him feels different than any other time I've given my love. He doesn't complain about $40 either 😂😂😂. There's a whole lot I can say about him but I've already told him.
Anyway, he's black, a gentleman, respectful, has a vision, has direction, he doesn't do stupid ish to create insecurities or just to piss me off (which is immature and emotionally abusive to do but y'all think it's cute 🤦), he doesn't deflect (I hate that ish), and he's only 2 years older than me, lol.
He really changed the way I see black men that are attracted to me (notice I'm being very specific and it's because I've ALWAYS believed there are good BLACK men...ALWAYS! I'm isolating certain types NOT ALL black men.)
I'd prefer black love for myself. I just wasn't about to settle for some BS for the sake of saying I'm dating or marrying within my race. Anyway, I think it's always wise to at least stay open to previous options because sometimes BETTER within those options show up.
Personally, interracial dating and marriage is okay to me but for black people to say I'm NEVER dating a black person is weird to me and seems more like self hate 🤷. There are jackasses in every race. In every race, you just have to attract and find the better of them. Keep the option open is all I'm saying.
I 👏 LOVE 👏 ME 👏 SOME 👏 BLACK 👏 MEN! Some of y'all just have to do better. Y'all the shit but y'all be acting like the wrong shit sometimes 😂😂😂.